How to Create a Culture of Rest in Your Home
Rest is not part of the natural rhythm of most families. Society tells us that if we have any open time, we can, and maybe should, say yes to another commitment. That space of open time in your schedule means time to plan a social gathering, time to schedule in an extra curricular activity, time to do something for a dear friend… and sometimes those are the best choices! But sometimes, the best choice is to leave that margin of space in your life for rest.
Rest is not a luxury, it is necessary! And if you don’t plan a rhythm of rest in your life, no one will do it for you.
What is rest?
Rest can look different for every mom, so this will take some soul searching. During especially tired seasons in your life, rest may mean sleeping. When I have a newborn or during a first or third trimester of pregnancy, rest has meant actually napping. During other seasons, rest has meant lighting a candle, pouring a cup of tea or coffee, and reading in a still space. Maybe that still space is even in a bath with some Epsom salt and calming essential oils! (Sounds really great right about now!)
To figure out what is restful for you, consider what would be restoring for your heart and mind. (See that word “rest” in there.) I’ve seen friends color or do some form of art during their still time. I’ve even baked while enjoying a podcast! It’s all about knowing yourself in your current season of life and asking, “What will restore my heart and mind during this planned time?”
It’s Hard to Rest with Children!
Yes! You have my complete affirmation in that! If you have young children, it’s hard! If you have older children, it’s still hard!
Trying to rest with young children: To rest while having young children, you’ll need three things. (Two earplugs and an eye mask… just kidding!) You need a plan, a lot of practice, and to prioritize it. (Maybe I should add a 4th “P” of some patience too, but I believe that will come naturally with the rest.)
The plan will look different in every home. Consider your children and what you expect of THEM during rest time. The goal in my home during rest time is to for everyone to be quiet and calm. This is different for every child depending on their age and abilities. Here are some ideas of different quiet time activities.
Trying to rest with older children: To rest while having older children, you have to schedule and prioritize it or other commitments and obligations will fill every space of every day. On some days, resting could look like an afternoon quiet time where your older child is also learning the rhythm of rest. On other days, it may require some creativity in what “rest” looks like for you. Maybe you plan to rest by doing something that refreshes and re-energizes you during the time that your child is in a music lesson. Maybe you schedule your rest time in the morning before your child wakes up. Again, consider the dynamics of YOUR home and make a plan and make it a priority.
There’s Work to Do!
Truer words have never been spoken! Mothering intentionally is accompanied by a never ending “to do” list. But that is the greatest challenge of all… the list of things to do will never include your rest unless you plan it. When rest is included in your schedule it shows that you prioritize the your health which will allow you to give your best self to all of the tasks that each day holds.
You may need to schedule your rest in a specific time block of your day, just like you would a work task. For example, 6:30-7:00am, or 3:30-4:00pm. Or, you may need to schedule it around other responsibilities. For example, when the baby naps I will rest, or, when my child finishes her homework we will both rest.
Scheduling in your rest means that you are prioritizing it over other things. This may mean that other “good” things will not get accomplished. Let me be the voice to tell you that prioritizing rest over other things is not just okay… it’s best!
Try this… make a plan of when and how you will include rest in your day. If this requires canceling something else that usually filled that space in your day, make a mental note of that so that you know your expectations for yourself have changed. You can’t expect yourself to do everything!
Then, share this plan with someone you trust and respect and ask for their input. (Your husband, your mom, a girlfriend…) If they agree that this new plan of rest would make a healthier you, then ask them to hold you accountable. I love the song in Alice in Wonderland where she sings:
Make it Happen
Share your rest plans below! What are you going to do when you rest that will be restoring and re-energizing for you? How are you going to make your rest happen while still keeping life functional with your children? When is your rest going to fit into your schedule? Who are you going to ask to keep you accountable?
Maybe your rest plans will encourage another mom with a new idea that she could use to begin including rest in her life as well!
To hear our conversation on this topic of rest, listen to the podcast here!