Traditions

Contributed by Connie Burroughs

On December 19th when I was seven years old, my father died. That was a very hard Christmas for my family. And for many years following, the traditions of Thanksgiving and Christmas were hard to enjoy.  We continued to celebrate with gifts, but even the tradition of setting up a Christmas tree in our home, was set aside. One year my sister’s boyfriend ran across all of our boxed-up tree decorations and decided to bring the old traditions back. He went out, bought a tree and set it up in our home. As hard as that was for my mom, I’m sure that bringing back the old traditions was also healing. I know it was for me, as I still remember it today.

Traditions…all the things we do in our families, just because we do, can bring such stability to our lives and especially to the lives of our children. There is something very comforting in knowing what to expect with the changing of the seasons or even what to expect each week.

We have a lot of traditions in our family. Some are associated with holidays, but some are just a part of our routine-like Sunday night pizza.  It may have started from my first date with my husband which was Sunday night pizza, or it may have started because the dorm cafeteria was closed on Sunday nights and pizza was a cheap meal. But for some reason, it’s “our way”. Even our children’s friends knew that if they were with us on a Sunday night, they could expect pizza. Different families have come up with different traditions: popcorn for dinner Sunday nights, movie night each Friday night, Mexican food Monday nights, etc. And actually, it’s great for mom and dad, because it’s one time each week that we don’t have to decide what to do. It’s a given.

But not all of our traditions revolve around meals. We have a wall at our house reserved for pictures of the children at ages: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, and 18. They knew that at each of those ages they could expect to have a special picture day. We always went  for ice cream after dentist appointments. I went to my children’s rooms each night to tell them good night. It’s not that these things were the “right” things to do. It’s just that they were the expected things in our home, and they cause our children to experience stability in their lives.

Are there certain activities, meals, or decorations that mark the seasons for your family?  I think these are important and fun! However, for those of us who love holiday traditions, we have to be careful not to allow our traditions to cause us stress.  One year I had to learn that we could actually make it through fall without carving a pumpkin. I had the pumpkins and time set aside for carving, but the carver got a better offer. As our children grew older we had to be flexible, remembering that the traditions are to enhance the holidays. If the tradition was taking joy instead of bringing it, it was time to give it up. You might consider asking your family which Christmas Traditions are important to them. You may be spending time and energy on something that doesn’t really matter. Often times, less is more.

I hope that as you spend time with other moms this month; you’ll discuss some of the family traditions that help to make your Christmas season special. It’s always fun to hear new ideas. I’ll close with two. The first is my husband’s family’s tradition of reading the Christmas story on Christmas Eve and the children singing, Happy Birthday to Jesus. It’s always a special time to refocus before diving into the gift exchange. The second is an idea that I recently read and I wish I had thought of myself. I don’t think I’d have any takers now. On the first night that the Christmas tree is decorated, this family sleeps in sleeping bags near the tree with only the lights from the tree lighting the room…what sweet memories.

We live in an ever changing world; never knowing for certain what tomorrow brings. Maybe that is one of the reasons we find such comfort in the predictability of traditions. The stability that we offer our children through traditions is the stability that they will ultimately only find in our unchanging Savior.

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”  Hebrews 13:8

Looking forward to the celebration of his birth!

Contributed by Connie Burroughs