How to Start a Mom’s Group
Every mom needs women to walk with through the journey of motherhood. These woman can be found in many places, but they MUST be found! If you have looked for a place to belong and have not yet found a place, I’m going to encourage you to do something BOLD and be the brave woman to start a “space” for moms.
This can take endless forms! To decide what kind of a group you want to create for your community of moms, consider a few things.
Are you going to gather with children or without?
Both can be beautiful! This is your group. Consider what YOU want this group to be.
If you’re hoping to gather without children, be sure that your meeting time is one that will make it easiest for the most moms to be present. I have successfully hosted monthly gatherings of moms without children that met Saturday mornings and that met weekday nights after bedtime. These times would be convenient for most moms to have dad or a baby sitter scheduled to watch the kids.
If you’re gathering with children, consider if nap times will be a challenge for the season of life that the moms in your group are in. If so, try to meet before or after the usual nap times.
Make a loose plan for your time together.
Make a plan of what you want the time to look like for your gathering of moms. When will it start and when will it end? Having an end time set can take the pressure off of you when you’re ready to leave. Of course there may be times you want to linger and enjoy a longer time together, which is a lovely option! But having the “out” of an ending time can be very helpful for you AND your children when you’re ready to go.
Or, if the gathering is in your home, it makes it comfortable to say “Well it’s time to wrap it up today! Thank you so much for coming. I can’t wait to do this again!” or “We better start cleaning up, since it’s almost time to be finished today. This has been so fun!” It also takes the burden off of the other moms to not have to guess when it’s time to leave without being rude. Especially when someone is coming for the first time, there is comfort in knowing that there is an expected time to leave.
Will you be gathering in your home? If so, think through what boundaries you want to create in your space and DON’T FEEL BADLY ABOUT THEM! This could include boundaries such as:
Please take off your shoes when you arrive.
We’re only going to run outside.
No playing in the bedrooms.
Keep the bedroom doors open please if playing in the bedrooms.
We keep food and drinks in the kitchen.
Be sure to leave time for help picking up at the end of the time together so the work is not ALL on you and your kids. This will take a some guidance as they won’t know “how” your family keeps your toys/things at first, but the initial training will be well worth effort!
Is your group doing a planned activity together such as discussing a book, going to a nature center, listening to a guest speaker etc.? If so, set clear expectations at the beginning of how you see it going. I have failed to do this in the past and been disappointed in the end that things didn’t go as I had envisioned, but then I realized that I never set the vision in the first place! This will vary greatly based on your planned activity, but it could include things like:
Let’s be sure to use calm voices and calm feet while we’re here.
Everyone keep an eye on our own children well so that no one gets hurt.
Kids need to stay with their own grown-up.
While our guest is speaking, we’ll hold all questions until the end.
Keep it Consistent
When you set a time to meet, be sure that you can commit fully to the time you set. And, if possible, try to have one or two other moms willing to commit to this plan with you. The community of moms will be much more likely to last if they can count on it being there every week or every month, and at the planned location.
If your group requires different locations, such as a nature adventure group, make a schedule in advance of where your different locations will be, and keep to the schedule as best as you can.
If the your group does not require different locations, I encourage picking one location to meet at consistently. This makes your gathering easier for multiple reasons.
Moms don’t have to check where they’re supposed to go each time.
The boundaries with the kids can be set early on and not have the be “re-set” every time with a new location.
People know what to expect regarding restrooms/safety/parking/traffic etc.
Kids will create “ways of playing” in a location with those friends that will become part of the culture of the group.
Some moms love the idea of the “newness” factor of a new location, but I have found that the benefits of the same space outweighs the benefits of regularly choosing new spaces to meet.
Do it!
I know… this is SO much easier said than done! But really, YOU CAN DO IT! Make it happen! Every gathering of moms was started by someone. You CAN be the mom to make a new space for mothers to gather and create lifegiving community.
Pray that God will help you set the best vision for your group. He will!
Pray that He will bring the right people. He will!
Pray that He will work through you to do something greater than you would’ve ever imagined or planned. He will!
For more encouragement about building a community of moms, listen to this podcast about Mothering in Community. Or, you can watch here on YouTube. (Or find it wherever you listen to podcasts.)